party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
