She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
