I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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