remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
