Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
