i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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