i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
