The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Barsexuality is the new black.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
