he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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