my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
