I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
