So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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