I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
