yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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