we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
