The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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