I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
