Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
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