Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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