i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
