My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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