Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
