$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
