either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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