What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
