it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
