hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
