end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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