no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
you had me at cake vodka
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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