If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize