Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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