blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
