This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize