Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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