Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I think people are normalizing furries
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
