high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize