Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
