Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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