So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
