I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
