You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
