You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
