i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
