with your own penis?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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