I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
