no, he came in my armpit
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I want you more than these girls want KFC
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
This baby is an asshole
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
