that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
