i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
