the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We need to rekindle our bromance
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
