It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
