He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize