why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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