don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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