so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
