tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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