I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
...so i touched it.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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