You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
