Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
