It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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