none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
