peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
