I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Actions speak louder than pants.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
