I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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