o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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