And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
