My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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