Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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