i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
