If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
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