Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
