Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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