Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
