I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
