Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
