he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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