Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize