you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
