yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
