the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
