pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
