I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
he was CRYING into my vagina
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
